I have been completely humbled by the past few days of my life. I guess I am not even sure if humble is an accurate description. Awe? Overwhelmed? Amazed? Maybe there are no words. (Being a person who need a described "box," I struggle with this reality.)
My pain and struggle has meaning. For a few years - about eight - it felt like I was in a constant state of struggle, waiting, and pain. I dealt with hurt, anger, striving to no avail, and more unknowns and questions than I thought I could handle. Veil removed: Life was hard. I battled depression and anxiety at the peak of their debilitation.
But Grace has prevailed! God is good. I say this not to brag, but to glorify and bring hope to whatever you are facing. Nothing is bigger than the hope and greatness of God.
Earthly life will never completely satisfy. However, I am blessed and overwhelmed by where I am. I have an amazing help-mate, friend, and love. Jason and I are a pretty dang good couple. I am happy and excited about our marriage. We are lucky enough to get to steward three amazing children. And the stages of life they are in are amazing. I am loving this season of parenthood. I deeply love our children. We have a fabulous family. Blessed. Our new church family is wonderful and we are excited about the mission God has for us. Longview, oddly enough, is becoming our community. Jason and I have had our hearts broken for this town. I love that we are embedded here and are making meaningful relationships. And, finally, I have a wonderful career.
I've never, ever hidden my passion for education and teaching. It is part of my identity. I know I am created for this. And currently, it is taking a new shape with new opportunities to be a voice for loving and doing what is best for children. I am beyond excited!
And so, when I arrived, this week, at the National Title I convention, I was struck and humbled by my current circumstances. I get to travel and share ideas and strategies in education. I get to take my experiences, couple it with my passion and profession and live on mission in our public schools. Supported by my family and friends, I am entering a new season. I am so excited and undeserving and grateful! God is so good!
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart."
Friday, February 6, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Victory or epic fail?
I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am a teacher. I am a coach. I am the head of this/coordinator of that/lifetime member of.... I am a ......
Why is it that I have a real urge to continue telling you who I am? Why is it that, as women, we feel we need to be a million things or we just aren't cutting it? (By the way my list really does continue.) Doesn't it feel like a competition? If we don't have our "plates" full, we just aren't being a real woman, right?
Why is that? Is this who we were designed to be? I don't think so. I think I can safely say that we were designed for so much more. But I do not believe that the "more" is a longer list of obligations or roles.
I am guilty of this. Very guilty. I have a real disability when it comes to saying, "I'm sorry, no." In the fall, a friend of mine and I committed to saying "no" so that we would only give our very best "yes." Have I held up to this ideal? Pretty sure that is a negative. In fact, this post was inspired by a thought that was running through my head, this evening. "Technological victory or epic fail? I was "able" to attend/participate in a webinar-conference call while I was home, sick, in bed." Why couldn't I just skip it and listen to the recording later?
All around me I am watching women try to keep up. Seeing and hearing these women wear themselves out is really heart breaking. Many are at the ends of their ropes. They logistically have exhausted every minute and hour of the day with their roles. With the many demands and obligations and the feeling of overwhelming hopelessness at accomplishing everything, the self worth of women is sinking a slow death. My hearts aches as I watch.
I feel like this is becoming the great lie of the day. Our enemy is using this lie to wear us down. If we, as women, feel we need to 'be this' and 'do that' in order to have value, we will just continue to pile it all on. And as we continue to stack and try to balance, we inevitably wear down. We become grouchy, rushed people with no time to invest in valuable areas of our lives; His presence and relationship, children, spouses, friends, community, etc. And as we, the women in our homes, schools, and communities, wear down, things around us begin to deteriorate and the over all emotional barometer drops. This deterioration can cause problems in our homes, with our marriages, in our use of substances, our eating habits, and our walk with God. Then the enemy has us right where he wants us, right? He can continue to tear away the fabric of our true identity.
It is time to call out this lie. If you consider the "pile" we place on ourselves, what is the root cause? So we can look better? Sound better? Be just like ___________? Why? Many of our roles and obligations may just be rooted in a lie. The reality is that no one is going to instantly lower their opinion of you if you have to say, "No thank you. I'm busy." Or "No thank you, I can't." Or my favorite, "I'm sorry. No. That's our family night." In fact many woman would probably be a tad bit envious that you actually were able to say no.
We don't need these obligations and roles to create our identity. Our identity is grounded in our creation. God perfectly formed us AND our identity. That is really all we need to look to.
I am not suggesting you relinquish all your roles. And I certainly don't want you to move the parent/wife/family role off your plate; "Sorry kids, I'm downsizing my obligations. I will no longer be serving as your mother." Please hear me. Some of our roles are very much a part of our identity.
If you are interested, here are some verses to consider:
-Genesis 1:27 -Jeremiah 1:5 -1 Corinthians 12:27 -1 Peter 2:9 -Colossians 3:1-3
-Romans 12:2 -Ephesians 4:24 -Romans 8:16-17 -Proverbs 31:25-26 -Colossians 3:12
"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."
Earlier, I mentioned saying "no" to give my best "yes." This is not my idea. I heard it on a commentary. But I love the premise. If we over-commit and over-extend ourselves, we can't stay true to the roles God has for us. Imagine how much better and more effective we could be, in our identities, if we filtered what we said "yes" to. It just makes sense. We only have a few hours in a day. If we divide those hours up for too many roles, we can't do any of them the justice they deserve. Instead, let's filter: is this a role for me? Does this match my identity (each unique to us specifically)? Can I give this the time and energy it deserves? Only say "yes" if you truly mean it! No more wearing ourselves out! No more losing our true identities in what we feel we should show the world. Instead, show them our best and glorify Him. The outcome will be so much more fruitful.
Why is it that I have a real urge to continue telling you who I am? Why is it that, as women, we feel we need to be a million things or we just aren't cutting it? (By the way my list really does continue.) Doesn't it feel like a competition? If we don't have our "plates" full, we just aren't being a real woman, right?
Why is that? Is this who we were designed to be? I don't think so. I think I can safely say that we were designed for so much more. But I do not believe that the "more" is a longer list of obligations or roles.
I am guilty of this. Very guilty. I have a real disability when it comes to saying, "I'm sorry, no." In the fall, a friend of mine and I committed to saying "no" so that we would only give our very best "yes." Have I held up to this ideal? Pretty sure that is a negative. In fact, this post was inspired by a thought that was running through my head, this evening. "Technological victory or epic fail? I was "able" to attend/participate in a webinar-conference call while I was home, sick, in bed." Why couldn't I just skip it and listen to the recording later?
All around me I am watching women try to keep up. Seeing and hearing these women wear themselves out is really heart breaking. Many are at the ends of their ropes. They logistically have exhausted every minute and hour of the day with their roles. With the many demands and obligations and the feeling of overwhelming hopelessness at accomplishing everything, the self worth of women is sinking a slow death. My hearts aches as I watch.
I feel like this is becoming the great lie of the day. Our enemy is using this lie to wear us down. If we, as women, feel we need to 'be this' and 'do that' in order to have value, we will just continue to pile it all on. And as we continue to stack and try to balance, we inevitably wear down. We become grouchy, rushed people with no time to invest in valuable areas of our lives; His presence and relationship, children, spouses, friends, community, etc. And as we, the women in our homes, schools, and communities, wear down, things around us begin to deteriorate and the over all emotional barometer drops. This deterioration can cause problems in our homes, with our marriages, in our use of substances, our eating habits, and our walk with God. Then the enemy has us right where he wants us, right? He can continue to tear away the fabric of our true identity.
It is time to call out this lie. If you consider the "pile" we place on ourselves, what is the root cause? So we can look better? Sound better? Be just like ___________? Why? Many of our roles and obligations may just be rooted in a lie. The reality is that no one is going to instantly lower their opinion of you if you have to say, "No thank you. I'm busy." Or "No thank you, I can't." Or my favorite, "I'm sorry. No. That's our family night." In fact many woman would probably be a tad bit envious that you actually were able to say no.
We don't need these obligations and roles to create our identity. Our identity is grounded in our creation. God perfectly formed us AND our identity. That is really all we need to look to.
I am not suggesting you relinquish all your roles. And I certainly don't want you to move the parent/wife/family role off your plate; "Sorry kids, I'm downsizing my obligations. I will no longer be serving as your mother." Please hear me. Some of our roles are very much a part of our identity.
If you are interested, here are some verses to consider:
-Genesis 1:27 -Jeremiah 1:5 -1 Corinthians 12:27 -1 Peter 2:9 -Colossians 3:1-3
-Romans 12:2 -Ephesians 4:24 -Romans 8:16-17 -Proverbs 31:25-26 -Colossians 3:12
"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved..."
Earlier, I mentioned saying "no" to give my best "yes." This is not my idea. I heard it on a commentary. But I love the premise. If we over-commit and over-extend ourselves, we can't stay true to the roles God has for us. Imagine how much better and more effective we could be, in our identities, if we filtered what we said "yes" to. It just makes sense. We only have a few hours in a day. If we divide those hours up for too many roles, we can't do any of them the justice they deserve. Instead, let's filter: is this a role for me? Does this match my identity (each unique to us specifically)? Can I give this the time and energy it deserves? Only say "yes" if you truly mean it! No more wearing ourselves out! No more losing our true identities in what we feel we should show the world. Instead, show them our best and glorify Him. The outcome will be so much more fruitful.
There comes a time...
There comes a time when you can no longer ignore the whispering in your heart. So many times, since my rough seasons, I have contemplated restarting my blog. It appears I even tried in 2013 to restart my writing. Ummmm....yeah.
Well, with so much change and still so much to say, I thought it might be time to be obedient to the Whisper.
The theme of the blog may look a little different. I even thought about changing to a new blog all together. But I still feel like we walk in this "masquerade." I still feel as though women are often lied to and made to feel so alone. And I still think I will share and discuss some raw thoughts that just need someone to unveil them. So the name remains.
I only hope I can do justice to my call; to glorify Him.
Well, with so much change and still so much to say, I thought it might be time to be obedient to the Whisper.
The theme of the blog may look a little different. I even thought about changing to a new blog all together. But I still feel like we walk in this "masquerade." I still feel as though women are often lied to and made to feel so alone. And I still think I will share and discuss some raw thoughts that just need someone to unveil them. So the name remains.
I only hope I can do justice to my call; to glorify Him.
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